Today I was texting my mom about Christmas gifts and bills and stuff. I told her I get PAID on Friday. But my autocorrect changed it to LAID. Mom’s response? “You’re getting paid for that lay. Duh.” And I respond, “Yeah Mom, I forgot to tell you that i’m a prostitute now. College is rough.” Her response is only, “You’re not charging enough.” 

This is why I love my mom. She’d love me even if I were a hooker.

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